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On disliking New Jersey, and liking New Jerseyeans
By Jenny | January 17, 2006
I will plunge right into my subject matter this evening, before anyone gets the idea that I don’t like New Jersey.
In looking towards leaving NJ, and not being a native, I have been reflecting often on what will I miss. It is odd that when I mention to people at work that I am moving, there are usually a fair amount of people who will say, “Man! I moved here X number of years ago, and I haven’t been able to get out yet.” There are other people who will say, “Oh, I moved away X number of years ago, swearing I would never come back! And, now, here I am…” What is that about? What is it that is so bad about New Jersey that people who are natives, and people who are not, would complain?
(I should add here I do know a LOT of people who are natives who are very happy here, but I am speaking about DIS-liking New Jersey…don’t worry, I will get to the liking part…)
So, here is what I have not liked about New Jersey:
- Humidity
- Long lines at the grocery store, right before a blizzard (ok, I found out about that during my first blizzard…NEVER again!)
- Rude grocery clerks (”Are you going to bag that, ma’am?”)
- Crazy drivers (no need to elaborate)
- Being told I should not live in a neighborhood with Hispanics, because I am white (I really was told this on three different occasions…unbelievable!)
- Driving 35 miles, and it taking me 60 minutes because there is no such thing as a direct path to anywhere in this state
Ok, I am done with my list. These things have really been minor annoyances more than anything; still, they will be uniquely NJ for the rest of my life. Now, on to the good stuff.
In my former state of California, I had friends. I had good friends, and I still do. I had grown up in California, and making friends came easily to me-or so I had thought. When I first moved here, I was so desperately lonely that I cannot think of how to describe it here. But a good woman at my church said to me, “It will take you eighteen months to two years to make a friend here in the Northeast, but when you do, you will have them for a lifetime.” I was horrified at the time to think it would take me that long to make a friend.
She was right; I was lonely for well over a year, and didn’t feel like I had close friends here for nearly two years. But, these friends have taken me through the roughest part of my life-through loss, and pain, and fear. Friends who dropped everything to help me, and my family. Friends who prayed for us, and with us, cried with me-all of those things we need friends for. My friends out of state supported us tremendously also. But, I had spent so long thinking I would have only long distance friends, with not one close friend here in this state. And now, I think, how can I possibly make good friends elsewhere? I also marvel at what did I EVER do to deserve friends not only where I left, but the relationships I have had here also? I am overwhelmed.
My heart is so different now; when we moved here a decade ago, I couldn’t wait to find my friends here. Now, I hardly think I can make new ones. I don’t know why I feel that way, I just do.
So, as far as disliking New Jersey-I could do without the traffic, fast pace, taxes, and humidity. But, I know now I will never be able to do without my friends…I am going to miss you guys.
Jenny
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